Open Communication

• I encourage you to allow your child to express their feelings with you.  You have to create an open and non-judgmental environment where they feel safe discussing their worries.  If your child states their feelings and emotions to you, this is the start of creating a strong bond between you and them.  Saying phrases like, “I am here for you” or “I will listen to what you have to say” are great ways to begin communicating.

Validate Their Feelings

• Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious. Validate their emotions and tell them that you understand what they’re going through. “I can see you are anxious about school, what can we do?” This helps your child to feel less lonely and allows them to be heard.

Teach Relaxation Techniques

• I have a previous article about grounding, journaling, and mindfulness techniques that help introduce these practices into your child’s daily life. You can practice relaxation techniques with your child, such as deep breathing, journaling, and mindfulness. These can be great tools for easing anxiety.

Limit Exposure to Stressors

• Identify triggers that contribute to your child’s anxiety and work together to find ways to minimize exposure. For example if your child is afraid of the news, it can be helpful to limit news coverage by watching the news at night when they sleep. This might involve setting boundaries or finding other solutions.

Promote a Healthy Lifestyle

• It is important your child gets about 8 hours of sleep a night, eats healthy foods, and engage in regular physical activity. A healthy lifestyle can positively impact mood and stress levels.

Model Healthy Coping Strategies

• Children often learn by example and model after us. Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress in your own life, so they can observe and learn from your positive behaviors. If your child sees that you can problem solve and react calmly to a situation they will mostly follow in your footsteps.

Encourage Social Connections

• Allowing your child to join a sports team, an after school club, or even a support group in the area can be extremely beneficial. They will find healthy and positive relationships with other children, improve their mood, and hopefully lower their stress.

Celebrate Achievements

• Acknowledge and celebrate small victories. This can boost your child’s confidence and grow their ability to overcome challenges. I encourage guardians to celebrate their child’s flexibility by saying, “Wow, I saw how you were flexible with the homework and you did it all by yourself”.

Find a Common Ground

• As parents we don’t want to see our children suffer or in pain, but sometimes it’s important to feel uncomfortable and learn how to overcome it. If your child is scared or anxious to go to school, try finding a common ground where we can attempt to go to school 4 times a week. Or if they are scared of new places, allow a challenge, “let’s stay for 45 minutes”

Seek Professional Help if Needed

• If your child’s anxiety is impacting their daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can provide strategies and support tailored to your child’s needs

Remember that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. It may take time to see progress, so be patient and continue to offer your support. If you have concerns about your child’s anxiety, you can always call for an intake appointment with a mental health counselor here at Family Counseling Services.

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One of the easiest ways to describe mindfulness to my clients is this. Imagine a picture where you are walking your dog. Your thought bubble has all the things you have to get done such as chores, to-do list, and multiple errands. But your dog’s thought bubble only has the walk in mind and is in the moment. This is how I explain mindfulness vs mindful to my clients. We have to be like the dog and be present in the moment. We have to be active and open to the present moment, this includes focusing on your breathing, body sensations, and our surroundings.

Here’s how I begin with including mindfulness into my daily life and hopefully these tips can help you too.

Start Small:

I encourage my clients to begin small, set a goal of 1 minute of being mindful and focusing on your surroundings/breathing. You don’t need a large amount of time to practice mindfulness. You only need about two minutes. Bonus points if you have a mindfulness goal on your watch, it can already provide a prompt for you to follow along with on the screen.

Mindful Breathing:

Throughout the day, take a few moments to focus on your breath. You can do this anywhere, whether you’re sitting at your desk, standing in line, or taking a short break. Pay attention to each inhale and exhale, bringing your mind back to your breath if it starts to wander. I encourage my clients to breathe in through their nose and exhale like a whoosh. You can even blow bubbles and focus on the shapes of them.

Mindful Eating:

In this time of technology, it can be easy to watch a show or be on our phones while eating. I recommend clients try this 1-2x a week. When you eat, try to eat without distractions, no phones or work during this time. Pay attention to the flavors, textures, and sensations of each bite. Eating mindfully can increase your appreciation for food and help you to slow down. It helps us to listen to our bodies when they are full.

Walking Mindfully:

This is my personal favorite and I try to incorporate this daily in my own life but this can be hard if you are pretty busy. It can be a great activity to include your family, friends, or significant others! Whether you’re walking to your car, around the office, or in nature, use this time to be present. Like I said in the introduction, be like a dog and be in the presence of nature. Notice the sensation of each step, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, and the movement of your body. Notice how many animals you hear in the distance, observe the different colors or shades of the trees, or feel the breeze or sun on your face/skin.

Remember, mindfulness is a skill that develops over time with consistent practice. Be patient with yourself and approach it with an open and non-judgmental attitude. Regular practice can lead to increased self-awareness, improved focus, and a greater sense of well-being.

The post Mindfulness: How to Start appeared first on Family Counseling Services.

In our fast-paced, digital world it can be hard to slow down and take a moment for ourselves. I encourage writing down our thoughts and start journaling to many clients. Journaling offers many benefits that can improve our mental, emotional, and well-being. Embarking on a journaling journey can be a rewarding experience. Whether you’re looking to express your thoughts and emotions, set goals, or simply capture moments of your life, here’s how I start encouraging my client to journal. It can feel overwhelming, especially when you have never journaled before. Here are some tips to start journaling and the many benefits of writing things down.

Select the Right journal:

First things first, find a journal that you like. It can be a bullet point template journal, colorful notebook, or even a digital platform. My personal favorite is my IPAD, thank goodness for Goodnotes. Having a journal that feels personal to you, you can even decorate it with stickers, quotes, anything that makes you feel good to want to write in it. By putting pen to paper, we create a safe space to express our thoughts, emotions, and experiences without fear of judgment.

Set Clear Intentions:

I tell my client to define their purpose for journaling. Is it for self-reflection, goal setting, creative expression, or a combination of these? Knowing your intentions will guide your writing and make the process more meaningful. You can even use a template journal, I have one that sets an affirmation for that day, priorities, and my goals for the day. There are so many templates out there that you can customize or even if you just want a blank page to start. Start with something that feels right to you and you can adjust as you go on in your journey.

Consistency and Comfortable Space:

It’s important to establish a time to journal. It can be in the morning to start your day or at night before bedtime to unwind. It’s important to find a time and stick with it to build the habit to start journaling. As well, the space that you write in is another factor to think about. Do you prefer a space without distractions? You can journal in the comfort of your bedroom, living room, or even your favorite local coffee shop. Find your time and place to start.

Start Small and Express Your Emotions

If you’re new to journaling, don’t feel pressured to write pages on your first attempt. Start with a few sentences or bullet points. The goal is to build a habit, and you can gradually increase the length of your entries over time. Be honest and open about your feelings. Your journal is a judgment-free zone where you can express joy, frustration, excitement, or sadness. Research shows that journaling can help reduce stress and anxiety.

Journaling is a process, and it’s okay if you miss a day or have shorter entries. Be patient with yourself and view journaling as a tool for self-discovery rather than a task to complete. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to journal. It’s a personal practice that evolves with you. Allow your journaling process to adapt to your needs, and enjoy the journey of self-discovery and expression.

The post Journaling appeared first on Family Counseling Services.

5-4-3-2-1 Technique

One of my favorite techniques that I utilize with my clients is the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique, it goes as follow:
Take a deep breath and

• Identify and name 5 things you see- a chair, a pen on your desk, anything in your surroundings
• Identify and name 4 things you can touch- your feet on the ground, your bottom on the chair, anything you feel
• Identify and name 3 things you can hear- cars as they pass, people talking outside your door, even the ventilation system in your house
• Identify and name 2 things you can smell- could be your perfume, smell of hand sanitizer or the smell of old wood of your desk
• Identify and name 1 thing you can taste- this could be your morning coffee breath, gum, or your sandwich from lunch

I encourage my clients if you can’t identify all of the senses, it’s alright to go to the next one. If you want to feel extra special, you can name a positive affirmation at the end. “I am loved”or “I got this” for encouragement. The best part of this technique is that you can practice anywhere. I encourage you to practice these skills when you are stable, so when you feel unregulated, it can come naturally and you don’t feel panic if you forget a step. Taking deep breaths is an important part which leads to the next grounding technique.

Deep Breaths: 4-7-8 Technique

Before starting, find a comfortable sitting position and sit tall. To use the 4-7-8 technique, focus on the following breathing pattern:

• Breathing in quietly through the nose for 4 seconds
• Holding the breath for a count of 7 seconds
• Exhaling through the mouth, pursing the lips, and making a “whoosh” sound for 8 seconds
• You can repeat up to 4 times

The great thing about breathing is that it’s a portable coping skill, You can breathe everywhere and anywhere. Research shows that daily deep breathing exercises can lower resting blood pressure and reduce stress and anxiety.

Coloring or Drawing

• A simple repetitive activity, focus on the colors, the movement of your hand, and the texture of the material.
  Coloring offers a therapeutic and creative outlet to relieve stress and anxiety. Thus creating a calm mind and allowing yourself a break.

Many therapists utilize different techniques for different people and depending on the reason for therapy. As a therapist, I explore and encourage my clients to try different techniques and to practice them to find the rhythm that works best for them. There are many grounding techniques in the therapy world, which ones will you try today?

Sources:

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx

Zaccaro A., Piarulli A., Laurino M., Garbella E., Menicucci D., Neri B., et al. (2018). How breath-control can change your life: A systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. 12, 353. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353

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Light Therapy:

Exposure to natural light is crucial for regulating the body’s internal clock and maintaining a healthy sleep-wake cycle. Light therapy, also known as phototherapy, involves sitting near a bright light that mimics natural sunlight. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals experiencing seasonal depression, as it helps regulate mood and improve energy levels.

Regular Exercise:

Physical activity is a powerful antidote to depression, including its seasonal variant. Regular exercise has been shown to release endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. Engaging in activities such as walking, jogging, or yoga not only improves mood but also enhances overall health, contributing to a sense of well-being.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help individuals manage stress and anxiety associated with seasonal depression. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery can be effective in promoting relaxation and improving mental clarity.

Social Connections:

Maintaining social connections is essential for combating seasonal depression. Even though the colder months may tempt individuals to isolate themselves, staying connected with friends and family provides emotional support and a sense of belonging. Social activities can boost mood and create positive experiences.

Healthy Sleep Habits:

Sleep plays a crucial role in mental health. Establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a comfortable sleep environment, and avoiding excessive screen time before bedtime are essential for combating seasonal depression. Quality sleep enhances mood, cognitive function, and overall well-being.

Balanced Diet:

Nutrition has a significant impact on mental health. Consuming a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins provides the body with essential nutrients. Omega-3 fatty acids found in fish, flaxseeds, and walnuts have been linked to improved mood and cognitive function.

Set Realistic Goals:

Setting achievable goals, both short-term and long-term, can provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps can make them more attainable and reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Professional Support:
If seasonal depression persists or worsens, seeking professional help is crucial. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide support, coping strategies, and, if necessary, recommend appropriate medications.

Conclusion:

Seasonal depression can be challenging, but with proactive measures and a holistic approach to well-being, individuals can effectively manage its impact. Incorporating these tips into daily life can contribute to a more positive and resilient mindset during the winter months. By prioritizing self-care, maintaining social connections, and seeking professional support when needed, individuals can navigate the challenges of seasonal depression and emerge with a stronger sense of mental well-being.

Sources:

Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): https://www.nimh.nih.gov/
Harvard Health Publishing: https://www.health.harvard.edu/
American Psychiatric Association (APA): https://www.psychiatry.org/
WebMD: https://www.webmd.com/

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The late author, scholar, and activist, Maya Angelou, has been quoted as saying, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” How do we come to “know better” about our emotions so we can “do better”? We need to understand that our inner peace is related to things like boundaries with ourselves and others, as well as learning how to logically respond rather than impulsively react when we become emotionally charged. After we become emotionally charged, it takes approximately six seconds for that signal to go from our emotional part of the brain to the logical/reasoning part of the brain. If we can resist the urge to immediately REACT to someone who we feel has hurt us or angered us by engaging in the “Six Second Rule,” we can manage the emotions we are feeling with logical thought instead of raw emotion.

The “Six Second Rule to Emotional Regulation” is simple. When you become emotionally charged, be it hurt or anger (or any other strong emotion), take a slow, deep breath through your nose, and count to three. Hold for a moment. Then, exhale through your nose slowly, and again, count to at least three as you release your breath. You will still likely be angry or hurt. However, you will likely be more able to thoughtfully respond to the other person instead of emotionally react. You will find the more you practice the “Six Second Rule” every day (even when you are not upset), the easier it will become to tap into that healthy, coping mechanism when you need it. You CAN control your emotions more than you think. When you know how to maintain your composure better and not give your power away to anyone, you really can do better for yourself and protect your inner peace. You do not have to let your emotions control you. You can regulate your emotions by choosing to not allow someone to make you feel anything you do not want to. Might it be difficult to make that change in your brain? Yes, perhaps. However, change is never easy, but it is WORTH it!

The post Want More Peace? Learn how to better manage your emotions to keep the peace. appeared first on Family Counseling Services.

According to author, Nedra Glover Tawaab, “If you think about it, the root of self-care is setting boundaries: it’s saying no to something in order to say yes to your own emotional, physical, and mental well-being.” When you feel drained by someone else’s energy, that is a good sign you need to re-evaluate the relationship with that person. It may mean that you are giving too much of yourself, or your time, or your energy when you really do not want to. When we do that, we become resentful and even emotionally drained, in part because we may be outgrowing that particular relationship. During re-evaluation and reflection of the relationship that emotionally drains us, we may discover the person has not changed or grown in the same way we have. Therefore, it is our responsibility to recognize how we are feeling and to decide how we want to communicate with that person or how we want to allow them to show up in our lives.

Boundaries also means letting people know how we feel and not giving in to justifying our decisions and not giving in to the urge of explaining why we have made the choices or decisions we have made. For example, your cousin invites you to his house for a card night, but you know your cousin drinks too much in social situations, and it makes you uncomfortable. You feel obligated to accept the invitation, because you do not want your cousin to be mad at you, but you get a sinking feeling in your gut by accepting the invitation. That sinking feeling comes from going against what you really want. It is okay to decline invitations from family. It is okay to say to your cousin, “Thanks for the invite, but I won’t be making it this weekend. Hope you have a good time.” You do not owe anyone any further explanation of why you declined the invitation. We are allowed to make decisions that best suit our emotional and mental health, even if people try to use tactics like obligation or guilt to try and make us change our mind.

Setting healthy boundaries is not an easy thing to do, especially if we are not used to doing it. When we start setting boundaries, others around us may not like it at first. However, when we start setting healthy boundaries with ourselves and with those around us, we feel more empowered and more in control of our own happiness and our own life which breeds the good stuff—inner peace.

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